Alex is a hot dog

Alex goes to sensory integration therapy, and for the first time our insurance is actually covering it. This comes at a perfect point in our lives because he has been having a hard time recently. I think it is because he is putting all of his energy into learning the things we are doing in school, and his focus gets tapped out, and then he starts acting "sensory", as we call it. I am learning a whole new level of parenting.
At his sensory therapy lessons he spends an hour getting all of the sensory input he craves. It is amazing how much pressure he asks for...way more than I as an adult would ever be comfortable with, and sometimes more than the therapist feels she can safely give him. They come up with all sorts of ways to work with him, but the cutest is the hot dog. He dresses up as a hot dog, and they squish him in a huge bun-pillow, and put long yellow and red sandbags on top of him (mustard and ketchup) while he listens to a song about being a hot dog. The amazing thing is how still he becomes when he feels all enclosed and weighty. He gets a certain look in his eye, as if he is going far away. Usually he is fine for the next several days after therapy, and then he steadily falls apart until his next session. The therapist says it is fantastic that he is able to benefit from it for that long...most kids are falling apart again after less than a day. Her comment reminds me that there are so many reasons that Alex is a great kid--and I enjoy finding them out, one by one.
Inga's teacher has cancer. (Stay with me--this is actually related to my "Alex" topic, but you have to read on to the end.) For a while her doctors were uncertain how far it had spread, but now they are saying it is contained and if they perform a total hysterectomy she should be fine. Her surgery is scheduled for the end of October, so my little girl will have substitutes for a month. I am so glad this teacher's prognosis looks so good...she is a wonderful teacher, a fantastic person, and a friend of mine from church.
Another friend of mine also has cancer...melanoma. Of course I cringe when I hear that, especially around this time of year. She had a mole removed that turned out to be cancerous, and not benign. But it had not yet had time to spread, and so the doctors think they got it all and she should be fine. She sent out an e-mail to all of her friends letting us know the good news, and encouraged everyone to get any suspicious moles biopsied earlier rather than later. She was very insistent about it, since an early biopsy had probably saved her life. But I did not mind the authoritarian tone she took because she had every reason to warn me, and guess what...I'm going to go get a suspicious mole biopsied.
This is how the cancer digression relates: My son has FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). I love him fiercely, but I also have to stand by and watch every aspect of his life, especially his schooling, be affected by the choices his mother made while he was in utero. I have every reason to warn those I love to totally abstain from alcohol during their pregnancy, and if you compare my situation with that of my friend who has cancer, I should be able to take an authoritarian tone with my warning. But I hesitate. Social drinking is just so...fun. Who am I to spoil someone else's good time? And people can quote outdated medical articles stating that a little alcohol will not hurt the fetus. There are plenty of them out there, and doctors who still believe this is true. Who am I to argue with that? Except that I have lots of more recent articles I can refer to that prove that just one drink a week can affect the brain of a developing child. But no one wants to hear it. It's unpopular. It's hard. And people have been drinking during pregnancy since alcohol was invented. So they tell me that my sources are not professional. The Surgeon General, however, agrees with me, and the Center for Disease Control website states:

When a pregnant woman drinks alcohol, so does her unborn baby. There is no known safe amount of alcohol to drink while pregnant and there also does not appear to be a safe time to drink during pregnancy either. Therefore, it is recommended that women abstain from drinking alcohol at any time during pregnancy. Women who are sexually active and do not use effective birth control should also refrain from drinking because they could become pregnant and not know for several weeks or more.

Please listen, and spread the news.

The whole summer in one post

We have been in Maine for the summer, and are leaving tomorrow to begin the journey back to real life. One of the biggest things I will miss will be late nights watching movies with Mandy, but I am already practicing getting over it since Mandy left us for Ben and Julie last week.
But while she was still here, Mandy introduced us to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This did not come out of the blue--Brad started the whole thing when we were out in California and we watched the first few episodes of Angel. From there it just spun out of control. One and a half seasons later, I realise that in order to support my Buffy habit Dan and I need to sign up for a Netflix account or something. Only we are going to go with Blockbuster, mostly because we are doing the cheap version with only one CD at a time and I am too impatient to wait for stuff in the mail so I will just trade in to Blockbuster if I actually want to watch a movie two nights in a row (which is pretty unusual during the regular non-Maine year, but might happen). So, after that boring explanation, I have to say something interesting:
Last night I finally realised who reminds me of Angel. Or, actually, the other way around. It's Brad. Wait, don't shoot me down--the dark, unattached, brooding, mostly silent guy with strong opinions that don't really come out unless you know him fairly well and hang with him for a while...see, I'm right, aren't I? And he always comes through, doesn't he? And he may not necessarily be openly friendly with the masses but is fiercely loyal to those he holds near and dear (like sisters). Just in case anyone thinks the contrary, this is a COMPLIMENT. Way to go Brad, you stud!

Real life comes soon. We have known for a year now that Inga would be going to her Daddy's school for second grade. I've been preparing for it all year and I think I am finally ready and I know Inga is way ready. It's fun to think that Moira and Inga are entering the world of the school classroom at the same time. We don't have all the same battles, though. Inga will wear a uniform, so that solves the clothes issue (it actually makes it easier). My biggest issue is outfitting a particular school bathroom stall for Inga's use, and then hoping that when she needs to use the bathroom it will be available to her. Her teacher, Jayme, is awesome. Jayme has an aunt who is quadriplegic and became quite famous when she started a foundation for accident victims who became paralyzed (this is Joni Eareckson Tada http://www.joniandfriends.org/, for those of you who have heard of her). So this teacher has all the right attitudes toward Inga (which is to say that she will not be making any excuses for her), and has already started getting Inga excited about being in school by sending her home from church with various second grade-y type things like an extra baby praying mantis they had left over from a science project. So this is perfect, right? It's still hard to let go, though. At least I have my other kids still at home to torment with lessons.

Inga's Exam

Inga passed her Tae Kwon Do belt test today! She is now officially an orange belt (double stripe). She had a few firsts during this exam. She got nervous for the first time. I tried to take pictures when we first got to the testing site, and she couldn't smile properly. In the past she has sort of taken it for granted that she would just go in and pass. This time she seemed to truly understand that a test of skill was before her, and she had to prove herself. She started to focus on the task at hand the moment she walked onto the Do Jang, and she didn't have any attention left over for the camera. The second "first" was that she did a great job. Usually I am smiling semi-indulgently along with the rest of the mothers of the younger children at the cute attempts at self-defense that these children display. But Inga was intense. When she did her Kicho the parents around us were exclaiming (quietly) at her focus and skill. And she was one of the few who broke her board the first time.
It's funny that Ben I mentioned that they are sending Moira to school next year, because we are sending Inga to school next year, too. There have been moments when I have questioned that decision, not sure if Inga is ready to strike out on her own and be responsible with her choices away from home. As this year has progressed I have seen her exhibit more and more maturity, but today's exam clinched it for me. She is ready to make her education her own, and to take responsibility for her time and her choices. Wow--my baby is growing up. And I pity the guy who tries to take advantage of her on a dark street.